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Thumpa thumpa

Thumpa thumpa

“What have you done today, to make you feel proud?”

Mikey was right. Some things weren’t meant to change. The bigots and hate-mongers tried to tear us down, but we rose above it. This is where it all started; this place that seemed so insignificant while it was here: Babylon. Sure, it was just a club to some; a place to get high and have promiscuous sex. But to us, it’s symbolic of everything.

The night that Babylon reopened was bittersweet for me. It had been three months since Justin had left. It’s funny how I based everything by his leaving. I saw Gus again a month after he left, because I couldn’t take the loneliness anymore. Michael and Ben’s adoption papers for Hunter went through six weeks and three days after he left. I received one call a day everyday after he left. I didn’t think I would make it through that first month, but Michael kicked me into gear and got me active again. All my energy went into getting Babylon back on its feet. I wasn’t sure what I’d do after that night, though.

The doors opened, and everything was in full swing. The first song played was, of course, our song, everyone’s song. Standing up there dancing, watching all my friends and family around me smiling and happy, I knew that it had all been worth it. Mankind is by its very nature destructive. As small children we instinctively weed out anyone who is different. Why should we change as adults? Because we know better? We’re not always so lucky. Standing there, I saw the faces of the people I love, and knew that there was hope for all of us. Not just gay or straight, but mankind. No matter what happened, we would make it.

I can’t say what will happen next year, next month, or even tomorrow. What I can tell you is that we are fighters, and we can survive this. There will always be those few that hate. There will be another group to hate tomorrow. The point is, there is hope. When we’re beat down, all the more reason to get back up and let them know, “You haven’t got me.”

The only person missing that night was him. He had called me that evening before I left for the club to tell me how proud he was of me, how much he wished he could be there.

“I just feel like I’m missing out on so much right now,” he admitted sadly.

“You’re doing what you have to do, Sunshine. We’ll still be here when you come back. We’re still your family,” I reassured him.

“I know. It just feels like I should be there.”

“You will be, because we’ll all be thinking about you.”

And that was true; me more than anyone. Everyone asked about him. “How is Sunshine?” “Wish he could be here, doesn’t feel right without him,” “He was as much a part of this place as any of us.”

It was all true, he was a part of this place, a part of all of us. So, to make him a part, I danced. I danced for him, for us, for Babylon. I danced for all the dances we had there, willing him to be there. This was my way of making a fresh start. He might not be there, but I would not allow myself to forget what we had there. This was our chance to forge a new trail of our own, to find our own new beginning. After all, that’s what the night was all about.